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  • Dr. Sandra Y. Lewis

Which Way Out Of This Rut?


Life's vicissitudes sometimes leave us reeling and wondering whether or not to get up and go forward again. It can seem as though we keep falling, coming back to the same spot, the same emotional trap, the same relationship mistake. So, we begin to question, "Is it worth it to move forward again?" Sometimes, the painful places are so familiar; we prefer to stay there. After all we've developed tremendous skill at negotiating our pain. So much so that hopefulness arouses fear about moving forward.

Sometimes we get stuck in a pattern of looking for and expecting the worse. Unfortunately, when we’re in this pattern, even when good things do happen for us, we’re waiting for something to go wrong. Perhaps we even come to doubt that we deserve more good in our lives. We decide good things are what happen to other people. So, we give up on moving past mediocre and instead, we get comfortable with our pain.

Marianne Williamson said, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” Consider the possibility that what holds us back is the fear of our brilliance. Remember the smart kid who wouldn’t let her friends know how well she did on an exam. Or the one who hid his love for reading from his friends because he didn’t want them to think he was too smart. There may be times when we shy away from being our best self.

Well, truth is, being brilliant is why we are here. Marianne Williamson says, “Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.” First and foremost, we are a bundle of light designed to brighten our world.

All of us have some special talent that the world needs. Yes, the whole, wide world needs our gifts and talents. Each of us is significant in the universe. Recently, I read an interview with Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson. In it he said that the atoms in our bodies can be traced to the

actions of stars that exploded atoms into the galaxy and eventually became our solar system. Tyson says that we live in the universe and the universe lives in us. Can you hear the Brand New Heavies singing, “You are the universe…there ain’t nothing you can’t do”? You are literally the universe. Let that sink in. You are a star.

We can learn from our cousins, the stars. Let’s take the Sun, that big star that we love to see shining. It rises, shines, makes us feel cozy, sets and then does it again the next day. In fact, when it sets for us, it’s shining for someone else on Earth. Sometimes, it has to work from behind the clouds. Other times it gets eclipsed. But nothing stops it from shining. That’s what a bundle of light does. It shines regardless of circumstance. So here are a few things that we can learn from the Sun.

  1. The Sun’s relationship to Earth reminds us that everything has a cycle. An important part of any cycle is rest or taking distance from a project. Taking a break or a step back is important. We need to rest and renew so that we can gather resources to move our goals forward. This offers us the space to get a new perspective on a project that’s not progressing as we would like.

  2. The Sun reminds us that creation is a continuous process. We rise. We shine. We rest. Each day is our opportunity to be the best version of ourselves. And the wonderful, added bonus is that we learn from all of our experiences. We can use what we learn to chart a new course and get a little more out of life each day.

  3. There will be cloudy days but regardless of our surroundings, our light is still just a bright. Like the Sun, we will find our way around the clouds.

The Brand New Heavies sang,

You're a winner So do what you came here for The secret weapon Isn't secret anymore

You are the universe

And there ain’t nothing you can’t do

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